In the several years since we invested in a nice camera, I’ve slowly set about learning how to use it.
At first, I was overwhelmed and worried that it would become an expensive indulgence getting pushed a little farther back in the closet each year.
Determined to realize the camera’s value, I’ve watched an entire course from Joel Sartore of National Geographic and read his beautiful book Photo Basics several times trying to pin down the basics of exposure: aperture, shutter speed, and ISO.
An immensely talented friend (who’s probably reading this wondering if I’ll make up a fake name for him too) took me out on several occasions for lessons on using my camera in manual mode. (I won’t. His name is Michael McVey and you should check out his work at skiffleboom.com).
I’ve shot countless photographs in manual mode fiddling with the settings trying to figure out how to make the camera see the way I want it to see. A few of them even look good.
Because I stumble often, I always turn the camera back to automatic when there’s a picture I actually want to get right. Even then, I often make mistakes.
Yet I’ve also learned about composition and how to incorporate concepts like framing, depth of field, and focus into my work. I love considering the rule of thirds before I take a shot almost as much as I love ignoring it to try something of my own design.
I may not yet be confident in using my camera in manual mode, but I am entirely confident in saying that I now visually process the world differently when looking through a camera.
Despite my complete inability to use the camera’s advanced features, I am gradually developing a photographer’s eye.
Things I’ve seen for hours can instantly look different once I look through a camera. I know it’s time to straighten up my living room when I go to snap a quick picture of my daughter and delete the shot because there’s too much clutter in the background.
Even without the camera, I have a deepened awareness of influences like light and perspective. Like solving a 3-D magic puzzle, I can’t unsee the things I’ve newly learned to see.
It was with similar hopes that I started an 8-week online yoga course through the Wallingford Parks and Recreation Department.
It’s just as unlikely that I’ll ever be a professional yoga player(?) as a professional photographer, yet I’ve invested large amounts of my time in each.
Perhaps I’m seeking meaning. Perhaps I’m seeking social interaction or vibrancy.
Any of those might be true, or it just might be the allure of having an hour of my own on the calendar each week where I don’t have to watch my child and get to focus on me.
Most likely though, it’s because I’m turning 40 soon and trying to lead a healthier life.
I entered the class with very little yoga experience. I’ve read about mindfulness, done the Headspace free trial a few years back, and once gone on a Valentine’s date in a shoeless yogi’s basement, but that’s it.
Nevertheless, it only took me two weeks of Zoom yoga to wonder if I have the soul of an old pine tree.
Towards the end of that class, I lay on my side focusing on my breath. I looked out my patio door up into the tree’s gently swaying branches. Each needle and branch moved gracefully with the evening breeze while the trunk itself stood stoic, strong, and calm.
As I bore witness to stillness’ majesty, I thought, “that should be me. I should be more like a large pine tree.”
It wasn’t exactly Eutierria, or “becoming one with nature,” but it was a pretty solid insight to gain for $35 plus a $1.05 credit card processing fee (for 8 weeks!).
I then noticed that the tree was now spilling into the neighbor’s yard and made a mental note to trim its northern side so my soulful insight didn’t last for very long.
It ended up being the high point of my 8-week run.
As the weeks progressed I realized that in addition to being the only male and person under age fifty in the class, I was also the only one adding mental meanings into the routines.
The local seniors seemed content focusing only on restorative movements for their necks and hips. Though the instructor didn’t spend any time on yoga’s mental aspects, I filled in the gaps with my own wandering thoughts.
As a side note, the instructor also never once offered coaching, encouragement, or criticism on how we were doing the poses (despite being able to see us on her screen).
It was exactly like doing a YouTube video course except that she unmutes you at the end and waits longingly for an affirmation. Mine was always a simple thumbs up.
Eight weeks of socially distanced yoga went by pretty fast. Though I won’t be continuing with this particular version, I’m glad I opened myself to the opportunity.
I definitely benefited from exercising my body in new ways but I’m looking for something that exercises my consciousness as well. I’ve got a long list of recommendations from a stay-at-home dad group I chat with.
The search will continue. Or, perhaps the yoga mat will become a past indulgence getting pushed a little farther back in the closet each year like my video games, harmonica, or magic kit.
Now, more than ever, it’s important to open ourselves to new opportunities. They just might change the way we see the world.
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