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by Chris Gaffney

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Tag: Parenting Humor

Home/Tag: Parenting Humor
6 Weeks After My Son's Birth is Too Soon to Become a Grandpa

6 Weeks After My Son’s Birth is Too Soon to Become a Grandpa

Mar 14, 2021Chris GaffneyWeekly Discourse ColumnParenting Humor

We weren’t sure how our daughter Senita would react when meeting her newborn brother just one day before her second birthday.

As soon as he opened his mouth and his pacifier fell out, she made her role clear: she would be his helper. Read More

My Son’s Birth Felt Awfully Familiar

My Son’s Birth Felt Awfully Familiar

Feb 7, 2021Chris GaffneyWeekly Discourse ColumnParenting Humor

On the 21st day of the 21st year of the 21st century, a child was born.

My son.

We weren’t expecting him until the 35th day so the past two weeks have been a blur. Read More

Who Needs a Mother’s Intuition When You’ve Got Technology?

Who Needs a Mother’s Intuition When You’ve Got Technology?

Jan 24, 2021Chris GaffneyWeekly Discourse ColumnParenting Humor

When my daughter’s older, her incessant questions won’t be answered with “because I said so,” but rather with, “ask Alexa.” Read More

Pregnancy is a Father’s Training Ground

Pregnancy is a Father’s Training Ground

Jan 3, 2021Chris GaffneyWeekly Discourse ColumnParenting Humor

It surprised me how intense the final month of pregnancy got last time. This time, I’m expecting it though I don’t think it’ll make things easier.

My theory is that pregnancy stages are cosmically designed as a father’s training ground. Read More

People Who Live in Block Houses Shouldn’t Throw Shade

People Who Live in Block Houses Shouldn’t Throw Shade

Dec 13, 2020Chris GaffneyWeekly Discourse ColumnParenting Humor

A humbling truth about parenting toddlers is that they learn from absolutely everything you do.

I typically only think about teaching my 22-month-old daughter Senita when I do something proactive like count and stack building blocks into a tower that she delights in knocking over. Read More

Finding a Welcome Relief in Santa’s Pants

Finding a Welcome Relief in Santa’s Pants

Dec 6, 2020Chris GaffneyWeekly Discourse ColumnParenting Humor

There is an unrelenting monotony to the stay-at-home dad life but my daughter has the exact same day as me and always finds it magical.

When I got excited that a school bus was passing our house, I realized that her joy is the antidote to the monotony. Read More

Thoughts on My 500th Day as a Parent

Thoughts on My 500th Day as a Parent

Jun 21, 2020Chris GaffneyWeekly Discourse ColumnParenting Humor

I didn’t know very much about babies before my wife Jenny and I had one.

In fact, the two things I thought I knew (pregnancy begins with sex and babies take 9 months to grow) were immediately shut down on our first doctor’s visit (turns out pregnancy begins on the first day of the woman’s last period and a full-term baby is 39 to 40 weeks). Read More

How Fatherhood has Changed Me

How Fatherhood has Changed Me

Jun 14, 2020Chris GaffneyWeekly Discourse ColumnParenting Humor

I was standing at the edge of a dock surrounded by a large lake at two-in-the-morning the first time I told someone that my wife Jenny was pregnant and I might finally become a dad.

I practically whispered it into the darkness to make sure that our other friends gathered back around the campfire onshore wouldn’t hear. Read More

The Toddler Olympics are Now Underway

The Toddler Olympics are Now Underway

May 17, 2020Chris GaffneyWeekly Discourse ColumnParenting Humor

The Summer Olympics were underway when I first met my wife Jenny. They’ve been an important part of our lives every fourth-year since.

We were sad when this year’s were postponed, but as first-time parents to a toddler, there’s no shortage of action around our house. Read More

Don't Call Me "Mr. Mom"

Don’t Call Me “Mr. Mom”

May 10, 2020Chris GaffneyWeekly Discourse ColumnHoliday Humor, Parenting Humor

It degrades my wife (and all working moms) when people call me “Mr. Mom.”

My daughter already has a mom and she’s clearly better at it than yours if you’re saying something so stupid. Read More

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