I’ve dealt with at least twenty-five different home service providers in just the past year ranging from your standard plumbers and electricians to targeted specialists in things like radon mitigation or basement waterproofing.
If you include all of the ones I’ve gotten estimates from, it’s gotta be well over one hundred.
“Oh, you must work in real estate or construction,” the casual reader might think, but no.
So why have I dealt with a small army of tradesmen? (Sorry PC Police, they’ve ALL been men).
Because my wife and I thought the perfect compliment to a pandemic pregnancy was to buy and restore a “well-loved” house.
And, since we don’t have a reality show on HGTV, that also meant staging and selling the first house we owned.
Once you account for landscaping, painting, HVAC, home inspections, radon remediation, and a host of other obstacles (both foreseen and unforeseen) in two different housing markets, the number of contractors quickly climbs.
Home repairmen have become like family to me: I get nauseous when they call, I won’t trust them with a copy of my house key, and I avoid them around the holidays.
I used to be intimidated interacting with tradesmen as if it somehow reflected poorly on my masculinity not to have a complete understanding of the parts and components of my heating system but I’ve gotten over that and am now pretty adept at striking up a rapport with them.
Namely, by not using expressions like, “striking up a rapport” with them.
It’s important to have a good relationship with anyone who’s working on your home.
Not only are you almost entirely at their mercy once a project starts, but they’ve seen the corners of your life nobody else has seen unearthing the mysteries behind your drywall or venturing into the recesses of your attics and crawl spaces.
So how should you go about building this billed-by-the-hour camaraderie? By following these simple tips:
Talk about the route they took to get here.
Once they tell you, either show shared gratitude that they didn’t have to travel too far or express amazement at how far they’ve traveled and compliment them for their versatile knowledge of local geography.
Never, EVER, ask if they had trouble finding the place. Tradesmen pride themselves on always knowing where they are even though they’re totally dependent on GPS like all of us.
Accept their view of the world.
Never look down your nose at a man who’s willing to look down the manhole of your septic tank.
Do you want to know his opinion on taxes, politics, or whether kids today just need a good ass whooping? Of course not, but you’re likely to hear about it.
There’s no sense in challenging him or looking to pick a fight.
Just be grateful that he’s sticking to those subjects and not going on in great detail about the mess he just spent an hour sucking out of your yard with a hose.
Extra points for beating him to the point by vaguely referencing how things have changed and including a note of ominousness in your tone.
Blame everything on the previous homeowner.
It doesn’t matter if you’re dealing with plumbing, electric, drywall, or HVAC, your repairman will at some point find fault with the way something in your house is set up.
This may be something that’s your fault or it may be something you’ve never even noticed but either way just immediately blame the previous homeowner.
Not only does this let your tradesman elevate himself by ranting about the “idiot who set this up in the first place,” but it also places you in the same elevated moral position.
Though you might be saying, “the last guy who owned this was kind of weird,” what they’re hearing is, “those people didn’t maintain things to the standards you and I share.”
Even when you’ve never heard of that standard before.
Always hint at a bigger project to come.
Of course, not everyone is just looking to help you fix your current problem as cheaply and practically as possible. Some are just looking to find a helpless homeowner and take him for all he’s worth *cough cough* Roto-Rooter *cough cough*
Keep these vultures at bay by always alluding to a bigger job off in the unsubstantiated future.
My electrician has given me an estimate for a whole-house generator. My plumber has offered referrals for bathroom remodels. I asked my drywall guy about the best time of year for him to possibly re-stain and seal our wooden deck.
The hope is that the appeal of possibly getting a bigger job down the road outweighs any inclination towards taking shortcuts or overcharging me on the current job. I don’t know if it works but it feels like it does.
Learn as much as you can from them.
Most of these guys are lone gunslingers riding into town at the first sign of trouble and leaving as soon as the dust settles.
They usually don’t have many (if any) coworkers and are eager to share some of the knowledge they’ve accumulated year after year from providing the same specialized care.
Some of my favorite questions are: “how much longer do you think I can get out of that system?” And, “for long-term budgeting purposes what would a full replacement or catastrophic failure look like?”
Everything you have is going to break at some point. When it does, you might need someone you can trust to help bail you out.
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