Hesitation has an undeserved bad reputation. Because our culture values action, we often associate hesitation with weakness and uncertainty.

We liken ourselves to decisive gunslingers ready to take on all comers at the twitch of a finger, but our most famous gunslingers knew the value of hesitation. Lines like, “Go ahead, make my day,” and “you’ve gotta ask yourself one question, do I feel lucky?” invited hesitation.

When drawing inferences of a person’s character, it is important to determine where their hesitation falls on the spectrum between restraint and reluctance.

Restraint is not a weakness. It is a sign of thinking, though the two are increasingly confused in today’s society.

The restrained hesitator learns from his mistakes rather than brashly rushing into the same situation time and again. The reluctant hesitator, meanwhile, is just planting their feet in the mud.

‘Yield’ is my favorite traffic sign because it acknowledges our naturally-occurring hesitation tendencies. Yield signs respect our autonomy without the pretentiousness of stop signs or the will-they-won’t-they drama of yellow lights.

Hesitations are also vital to our entertainment. William Shatner made a career on hes-it-a-tion and it is essential to comedic timing. The burglars in Home Alone would have benefited from a little more hesitation; it was Kevin McCallister’s greatest strength.

While hesitations build tension and drama in entertainment, in life they create opportunities to build mental associations and emotional connections. This can be especially powerful with children where an entire day’s trajectory can be changed by reacting to a hesitation moment.

I’ve stood in awe after witnessing a child-whisperer turn an inevitable meltdown into a moment of enthused hilarity using only the dark art known as parenting.

It is easy to tell the difference between a child-whisperer and a bumbling uncle during the brief hesitation that immediately follows a toddler bumping his head. While the bumbling uncle winces or expresses sympathy for the child, the child-whisperer bursts out with enthusiasm tricking him into having a positive reaction to feelings he doesn’t yet know how to process.

Like anything though, hesitations aren’t good when taken to an extreme. Slot machines are programmed with hesitations meant to tease and delight you as you wait for your complimentary cocktail and oxygen tank refill.

Hesitations have cost me countless lives in video games and are one of the main reasons that I rarely got a hit in little league.

There are many instances in relationships where hesitations are unproductive, like immediately after one spouse asks the other where they’ve been. But overall, hesitations are extremely romantic.

Romance is full of hesitations, the moments between thinking and action where passion, consent, and flirtation intersect.

And then there are universal hesitations that never get old: the beat between the lights going down in a movie theater and hearing the first note of an opening title.

The second after taking a deep breath but before plunging underwater.

The first rip of a Christmas present’s wrapping paper preceding the long tear that follows.

Hesitations provide a break from ongoing routines. There are countless hesitations in life worth celebrating and acknowledging.

Don’t overlook the value of moments of hesitation. If it feels like something is missing, just wait for a moment, you might be right.

 

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