My wife Jenny and I are celebrating our fifth wedding anniversary this weekend.
I was anxious about celebrating our first anniversary since I’d never lived in a home where a wedding anniversary was celebrated (my parents divorced before I turned one).
I had no idea where on the gift-giving spectrum between a card or flowers and a Christmas-style blowout a wedding anniversary should land.
We decided that since our anniversary comes right after Mother’s Day and just before Father’s Day, a gift exchange didn’t really seem like the best use of resources.
Since we already use Valentine’s Day for new experiences, we decided, when possible, to make anniversaries our traveling celebrations. The first three years included trips to Stowe, Vermont, Lake George, New York, and Bay City, Michigan.
The more memories you make together, the harder they are to sort.
For instance, It took us a while to remember what we did last year for our fourth anniversary. The answer is that, with a three-month-old baby, we didn’t travel at all. Instead we let friends and family travel to us for our daughter’s baptism.
Which is why we had big plans for this year’s anniversary.
After successfully lining up an unprecedented (for us) three consecutive nights of babysitting, we planned to return to the Bahamas resort where we spent our honeymoon.
But right before we made our reservations, I got nervous about a mysterious new virus and studied up on the resort’s refund policy.
This all-inclusive resort’s policy provided about as much protection as an open-toed shoe so we timidly changed our plans to a Florida resort that has since canceled for a full refund.
It’s hard taking a trip when you’ve lost the desire to travel, the airline canceled your flights, and the resort is closed.
So this year we’re traveling down memory lane: the price is right and the amenities make us feel like we’re right at home.
It’s actually working out well.
Jenny tagged a few extra days off onto the long weekend so we’ll spend some time finally hanging up our picture frames and sorting through print outs to fill an empty album.
The five-year wedding anniversary appears to be the first where our main focus transitioned from the future to the past.
Whereas we used to speak mostly about the future (when we’ll have a child, when we’ll buy a house, when she’ll finish her MBA), this year we’re mostly reflecting on the memories we’ve made together.
When there are so many uncertainties about the future, it’s nice to take comfort in the past.
Our anniversary’s highlight was sharing our wedding video with our fifteen-month-old daughter, Senita, for the first time.
Nobody really enjoys watching a wedding video except for the bride and groom since the entire day was a blur to them the first time around. Senita was no exception, but at least she got into the music.
After 72 days of self-isolating because of the coronavirus, this weekend was the perfect time to be reminded that one of the many things we have to be thankful for right now is each other.
We didn’t renew our vows, but we held hands while watching our former selves make our vows, and that came pretty close.
Though we’ve only been married for five years, we’ve been together for nearly twelve.
It’s been approximately 4,304 days since we started dating and about 3,387 since we first moved in together. Furthermore, it’s been 1,828 days since we got married and only 474 days since we became parents.
That helps put our 72-day quasi-quarantine into a little perspective and provides a hell of an itinerary when traveling down memory lane.
When I look back on this anniversary a few years from now, I won’t remember it as the year when we couldn’t take a trip.
I’ll remember it as the year we traveled down memory lane and discovered that the only thing sweeter than wishing for shared dreams is looking back with gratitude at the ones that you’ve already attained.
If you enjoy my humor writing, please subscribe below.
If you want to syndicate this column, you may contact me here to discuss the details.
You may notice that I’ve disabled commenting on this post. I’d love to hear your thoughts by email at [email protected].