Everyone gets a little more introspective around their birthday.
For the past twenty or so years, I’ve funneled my birthday-related thoughts into a unique direction modeled after the president’s annual State of the Union Address. Read More
One of the joys of homeownership that I’ve never experienced is handing out Halloween candy to trick-or-treaters from my own doorstep.
Every time I tell someone this, I do it with an air of sadness inviting their pity. Read More
Hesitation has an undeserved bad reputation. Because our culture values action, we often associate hesitation with weakness and uncertainty.
We liken ourselves to decisive gunslingers ready to take on all comers at the twitch of a finger, but our most famous gunslingers knew the value of hesitation. Lines like, “Go ahead, make my day,” and “you’ve gotta ask yourself one question, do I feel lucky?” invited hesitation. Read More
I find myself lingering a little bit longer in the seasonal aisle of my local grocery store this year, exchanging furtive glances with the scarecrows on display.
While admiring their sewn-on overalls and adorably-askew farmers’ hats, I abashedly lower my gaze when someone else passes, feigning interest in the candy corn or Reese’s Peanut Butter Pumpkins to hide my secret longing for a scarecrow to call my own. Read More
I can walk the entire length of a grocery store multiple times with a straight view down each aisle and still not find the person I’m looking for.
When I was a kid, the vanishing point in a grocery aisle was exactly the size and shape of my mother; now that I’m a grown adult, it’s exactly the size and shape of my wife. Read More
I don’t just change my voice to mimic a customer service rep, I change my entire persona.
I’ve long since learned two important truths: the operator can always do something to get you a better deal, and people respond favorably to other people that are just like themselves. Read More
I resent feeling contemplative while standing on a beach. Somewhere along the way, it got buried deep in my psyche that thoughts on a beach are somehow more profound.
They aren’t, it’s just a beach. Read More
A deck of playing cards is an amazing thing. It is an entirely unnecessary item that is found in nearly every home.
It’s been said that if you spent your whole life shuffling cards, you’d never deal the same deck twice. I don’t know if that’s true, but I know that the number of possible card combinations pales in comparison to the priceless bonds that playing cards help create.
Never trust a family that doesn’t own a well-worn deck of cards. Read More
If you had asked me in fifth grade to predict what the world would look like in 2018, I would’ve assumed there would be far less aerosol products.
It seems like they were public enemy number one in 1991, but that category is now surprisingly filled by single-use plastic straws. I saw one taken out of a turtle’s nose on the Today Show. It was disgusting. Read More
As early man was brought fireside out of fear of darkness, I was introduced to my town’s Facebook community group as a resource for learning about car break-ins happening in town.
And I did learn about them, but the conversations weren’t what I was expecting. Read More