We watched The Academy Awards (or Oscars) every year growing up even though we’d rarely seen any of the first-run movies.
Mom liked watching so she could talk about it with her mom, who liked to see the stars.
After Grandma died, Mom kept watching to honor her memory. And now that they’re both dead, I find myself taking up the family claim.
My mother didn’t hand down any family recipes or heirlooms, but at least once a year I perk up in my seat and say, “there’s Jack Nicholson!”
I used to think I liked watching the Oscars for the host’s monologue, then just sort of kept it on.
But after last year had no host, I realized that even though I haven’t seen the movies and can’t name most of the stars, I watch the Oscars every year because I like seeing other people thanked.
How great is it that our most highly-publicized awards, like the Oscars, feature individuals giving thanks to all of the people who helped them accomplish their once-in-a-lifetime goal?
We could all learn something from these self-effacing moments. If only we were as quick to assign credit as we were blame, life would be so much better.
So many of us strive to be the person who gets the award, but what if you strived to be one of the people behind the award recipient?
Collaboration seems lost in society today because we focus on winners and losers. But focusing on the teamwork that got people to where they are is such a better way of looking at life.
I recently had a child. It felt great to have my own likeness recreated into a new living entity. But it is also a signature accomplishment for all of my ancestors who came before me, whether they watched the Oscars or not.
I’ll be a major influence on my daughter’s life, but I won’t be the only one. We’re already lucky to have so many friends and family members who care for her, but I know there is a gathering storm of future teachers, friends, co-workers and coaches waiting to help sculpt her into the person she’ll become.
Influences will come and go. Right now she thinks I’m pretty much the greatest (only my wife Jenny might have a stronger claim), but it’s only a matter of time before some friend, probably named Harper (why is every girl suddenly named Harper?), becomes equally if not more important to her life.
Then Harper will lead to Sophia, Olivia and Emma (the actual most popular names of her birth year), and I don’t even want to think about what happens when Liam gets in the mix.
My hope is that as each of these people enter my daughter’s life (and she enters theirs), they’ll be the sort of people worth thanking at an awards ceremony.
The sort of people who believe in her, challenge her to do her best work, step up to help her when she needs it, and stand back to let her shine when she doesn’t.
Neither of us may ever walk the red carpet. Or, we may someday walk it together arm in arm. Either way, I strive to be the sort of dad worthy of a shout out if she wins.
Next Sunday we’ll be watching the Oscars together for the first time, though hopefully she’s in bed for most of it.
You can bet I’ll be pointing out the pageantry of gratitude, every time a winner thanks her parents, and, of course, Jack Nicholson.
It might not be my grandmother’s recipe for spaetzle, but it’s worth passing down nonetheless.
If you enjoy my humor writing, please subscribe below.
If you want to syndicate this column, you may contact me here to discuss the details.
You may notice that I’ve disabled commenting on this post. I’d love to hear your thoughts by email at [email protected].
Check out The Uncommon Discourse Podcast, where acclaimed storyteller Chris Gaffney reads and discusses ten of his most popular humor columns.
Each episode is under ten minutes long and features Chris reading a favorite article along with a brief description of why the article means so much to him.
Find Season 01 on iTunes, Stitcher, TuneIn.com, or stream/download episodes here: https://uncommondiscourse.com/podcast.