Today is the 200th consecutive Sunday that I’ve published a weekly humor column on this website. There won’t be a 201st.
I’m taking a break.
It’s time for me to scroll off your screen and into the sunset to wherever fate takes me next. Read More
So we didn’t get a turn-key ready world: there are worse things.
I refuse to let negativity and cynicism become defining characteristics of my children’s childhoods. Read More
Before she passed away, Mom always used to say that her greatest joy was sitting in our home hearing all three of her sons make each other laugh.
I don’t remember her saying it very often when we were growing up but it became her refrain after her pancreatic cancer diagnosis when our visits increased in frequency and became less about seeing old friends and more about spending time together as a family. Read More
My days are divided into two distinct sections: before the kids are in bed for the night and after the kids are in bed for the night.
I love my kids (2.5 year old daughter and 6-month-old son) with all of my heart, but post-bedtime life is just a little bit easier.
Consider this: I’ve never once told my wife, “Let’s wake the kids up a little bit early today, we could use a break.” Read More
This week my daughter officially turned two-and-a-half years old, which means she’s now closer to being five-years-old than she is to birth. I don’t know how to process that. Read More
The best summer storms are the ones witnessed with a feeling of safety but intense enough to make you feel like you’ve got a little skin in the game. Read More
I loved singing as a child but by my mid-teens I decided not to do it publicly anymore even though it was one of my biggest sources of joy.
I became more inhibited.
For the twenty years that followed that source of joy became a source of apprehension. Read More
Halfway through my first summer as a pool owner, I’ve clearly become a “pool guy.”
At this point we’ve survived small gatherings, family swims, and a blowout party without any major incidents so something’s going right.
We don’t yet have the stereotypical lifesaver on a rope hanging on the pool house wall but we’ve got a first aid kit with a lifeguard cross on the cover, a freezer full of freeze pops, and a counter full of sunblock. Read More
I’ve dealt with at least twenty-five different home service providers in just the past year ranging from your standard plumbers and electricians to targeted specialists in things like radon mitigation or basement waterproofing.
If you include all of the ones I’ve gotten estimates from, it’s gotta be well over one hundred.
“Oh, you must work in real estate or construction,” the casual reader might think, but no. Read More
Any time stay-at-home parenting gets too hard on me I threaten to clear out the bank account and head to the casino.
As I vividly imagined this fantasy on Monday (due to a very difficult morning that started at 2 AM, then 4 AM, then pivoted to a second child at 6 AM and wove them both together at 7 AM), it finally dawned on me that it’s a horrible fantasy because I don’t like gambling. Read More