Chris Gaffney, Author at Uncommon Discourse

Welcome to my Redesigned Site

Jul 16, 2022Chris GaffneyUncategorized

Welcome to the re-designed uncommondiscourse.com. This site spotlights my work as a writer and a public speaker.

From 2017 through 2021, I published a weekly humor column here. It won the National Society of Newspaper Columnists’ 2019 award for Best Humor Column in its class. The entire 200-column archive may still be found here.

Please take a look around the new website to learn more about my work in genres such as memoir, humor, poetry, and storytelling. Read More

After 200 Consecutive Weekly Columns, It’s Time for Something New

Sep 5, 2021Chris GaffneyWeekly Discourse ColumnMusings Humor

Today is the 200th consecutive Sunday that I’ve published a weekly humor column on this website. There won’t be a 201st.

I’m taking a break.

It’s time for me to scroll off your screen and into the sunset to wherever fate takes me next. Read More

Our Home Still has Good Bones

Aug 29, 2021Chris GaffneyWeekly Discourse ColumnHome & Garden Humor

So we didn’t get a turn-key ready world: there are worse things.

I refuse to let negativity and cynicism become defining characteristics of my children’s childhoods. Read More

I Finally Understand Mom’s Greatest Joy

Aug 22, 2021Chris GaffneyWeekly Discourse ColumnParenting Humor

Before she passed away, Mom always used to say that her greatest joy was sitting in our home hearing all three of her sons make each other laugh.

I don’t remember her saying it very often when we were growing up but it became her refrain after her pancreatic cancer diagnosis when our visits increased in frequency and became less about seeing old friends and more about spending time together as a family. Read More

Naps Aren’t Bedtime and My Kids Know It

Aug 15, 2021Chris GaffneyWeekly Discourse ColumnParenting Humor

My days are divided into two distinct sections: before the kids are in bed for the night and after the kids are in bed for the night.

I love my kids (2.5 year old daughter and 6-month-old son) with all of my heart, but post-bedtime life is just a little bit easier.

Consider this: I’ve never once told my wife, “Let’s wake the kids up a little bit early today, we could use a break.” Read More

Like a Toddler in a Bathtub, Time Keeps on Slipping

Aug 8, 2021Chris GaffneyWeekly Discourse ColumnParenting Humor

This week my daughter officially turned two-and-a-half years old, which means she’s now closer to being five-years-old than she is to birth. I don’t know how to process that. Read More

Stopping to Watch a Summer Storm

Aug 1, 2021Chris GaffneyWeekly Discourse ColumnSociety Humor

The best summer storms are the ones witnessed with a feeling of safety but intense enough to make you feel like you’ve got a little skin in the game. Read More

Singing Without Shame or Inhibition

Jul 25, 2021Chris GaffneyWeekly Discourse ColumnSociety Humor

I loved singing as a child but by my mid-teens I decided not to do it publicly anymore even though it was one of my biggest sources of joy.

I became more inhibited.

For the twenty years that followed that source of joy became a source of apprehension. Read More

So It Turns Out I’m a “Pool Guy”

Jul 18, 2021Chris GaffneyWeekly Discourse ColumnHome & Garden Humor

Halfway through my first summer as a pool owner, I’ve clearly become a “pool guy.”

At this point we’ve survived small gatherings, family swims, and a blowout party without any major incidents so something’s going right.

We don’t yet have the stereotypical lifesaver on a rope hanging on the pool house wall but we’ve got a first aid kit with a lifeguard cross on the cover, a freezer full of freeze pops, and a counter full of sunblock. Read More

The Subtle Art of Dealing with Painters, Plumbers, Electricians, or any Home Repairman You Need

Jul 11, 2021Chris GaffneyWeekly Discourse ColumnHome & Garden Humor

I’ve dealt with at least twenty-five different home service providers in just the past year ranging from your standard plumbers and electricians to targeted specialists in things like radon mitigation or basement waterproofing.

If you include all of the ones I’ve gotten estimates from, it’s gotta be well over one hundred.

“Oh, you must work in real estate or construction,” the casual reader might think, but no. Read More

Uncommon Discourse

by Chris Gaffney

Author: Chris Gaffney